Sense of Humor

Sense of Humor

I'm noticing a disturbing trend, with the media, with people on the street, in the office, and pretty much everywhere. People are trading in their sense of humor, for the option to complain about everything that they can get away with. What tool do they use to do this? Offence. They claim to be offended by nearly everything. What am I talking about? Where am I going with this? Let me explain better, and perhaps put what I'm talking about into better perspective. I'll give you a scenario.

Let's say you are talking with some people you don't know so well, but you know them well enough to know their names. Your trying to lighten the mood, so you make a joke. Not a racist joke, or some sick pedophelic sexual joke... Not even a blonde joke. A joke about how your dog uses the doggie door on your house back door to enter the house at amazing speeds (pure example, I don't own a dog, this actually happened to someone else, but I was witness to it). You make reference to how amusing it might be if you blocked the inner side of the door, then opened the dog food bag with the window open so your dog could hear. *Thunk!*.

Now I don't claim to be the best person out there, I have as dirty a mind as some people, I've told a share of dirty jokes, I've done some things that many would find 'Contraversial', But I'd like to think of myself as a nice guy, I never mean anyone harm. But I think that if someone makes a joke WITHOUT the intent to offend or harm anyone...Then it shouldn't be taken as offensive. If I call someone I care about a fool in jest, I'm not actually meaning to convey that I beleive them to be a fool, It's simply in jest. This is usually given away by the exhibition of laughter I convey while making said statement, plus a smile. So why is the world brewing such hatred at that which is meant as jest, lighthearted banter?

Here is something to think about. You may read this and think to yourself (or at me) "But I love a good joke, Some of them are offensive, some are not, depends on the joke". Well, If I were just thinking of myself, I'd agree, but if you step back and look on people as a whole, you realise that this equation fluxuates itself to oblivion. Let me explain; Take any joke you really like, Think one up, I'll wait. (Of course I'll wait, you can stop reading while you think of one). Got one? Good. Now look at this joke, Is there ANYONE, in this world who might be offended by it? Not because of what they are, But maybe something they encountered? "I deal with those woodchippers all the time, and let me tell you, that joke's not funny". "I've never seen a monkey do anything like that, that joke is offensive to animals and animal lovers". "You can't really say that unless you know what it's like being trapped in a cab with a person in that state of mind". The list is endless.

In the end, Any joke can be offensive to the wrong person. So you have to make a choice, Do you risk offending someone? Or do you tell the joke at the chance of bringing laughter to your small social circle. I choose to take that risk.

And the next time someone tells a joke, or makes a humerous reference to something you just don't find funny, Don't focus on the fact that you think it's offensive, Step back a moment, think to yourself "Did they mean that to be innapropriate? Were they just trying to be rude? Did they mean to offend me?". If you can't answer yes to these, then chances are, they have no idea that you would be bothered by this joke. I'm not saying you have to laugh at it anyways, Just Try not to lash out at another's mood because of what was meant to brighten your day.

Now I accept that there are times and places where humor may not be appropriate. Ok fine. But understand that at that funeral, or sad time, some people's defence mechanism is humor. This is my vice, I use humor to recover, It helped me out of a depression that may have ended my life otherwise. So I (if you'll excuse the pun) take humor very seriously. I support humor. I've used it to bring loved ones out of sadness, and to bring a smile to an upset face. You know how it feels when one you love, your spouse, child, friend, is upset, sad, or depressed, and somehow you can bring them a smile. Think of how you have fealt, when someone came up to you when you told a joke, and gave you a 15 minute lecture on how terrible and insensative your joke was. When you meant no harm, you were trying to bring some joy.

Now of course I understand that some people out there DO use humor to offend, to be rude, to push the envelope beyond what's appropriate. This article does not refer to these circumstances. But rather to the growing inability in most people to tell the difference between these circumstances, and the harmless ones. If you are told a joke you find offensive, consider weather the person meant harm, or ill will. If your unsure, Ask, or just leave it alone. Chances are they didn't mean harm. If you simply let them know it was offensive (without the lecture, just say it, and move on) you can salvage the mood.

The mood, why do I place so much importance on the mood when a person is being offended. Well, because offended is just a mood as well. You are one person, so am I. In a circle of 5 people, one person tells a joke, and you might be offended. The other three are laughing, and the joke teller wasn't. Four people having fun, and your not. While you feel it's not fair that you should have to suffer while they laugh... Being offended isn't really suffering, and it will quickly pass. Have you the right to bring everyone else down to your "Suffering" simply because you didn't like the joke? It's fair to you that you should have the right to let the joker know that that joke bothered you. If they ask why, tell them, if not, drop it. But don't suck the energy out of the situation. If you must, leave the group, you have that right and freedom.

I am Sorry if this has seemed like a rant. Just that this has been an issue on my mind ever since I was a child. I made a joke that in hindsight was slightly offensive. I was on vacation, a comedian had been on stage, and half his act was prop humor with a vacum cleaner. After the show that evening, a few friends of mine were sitting in the lounge having a laugh, I mentioned the comedian's act, that I thought he was funny, a friend remarked that the show was half about vacum cleaners, I commended "Yeah, that part really sucked". The comedian had just walked by and heard my remark (though to this day I suspect he'd been listening longer, else how would he know we'd been talking about him). He become offended, and lectured me for 15 minutes, angry face and all, about how mean that was. I was 12 years old. He was a professional comedian. And all I made was the connection between suction and vacum cleaners. I'll agree that this joke could have easilly been taken by him the wrong way. But at my age, that was our level of humor. We still told fart jokes...(guilty admittance: I still do, though not as many). In retrospect, I guess I'm thankful for this occurance, as it's given me many a chance to think over this particular failing in humanity, the duality of the drive and need for humor, yet with the fight against it.

Annoyances and Delights

I have been annoyed by a few small things lately, but generally in a great mood, despite being out of work and nearly penny less.

I'll start with the bad so I an end on a good note.

Have you ever had a girlfriend, or close friend who likes to visit others, and take hours there when they say they will only be 15 minutes or so? Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with my "friend" wanting to spend hours at her moms, No problem at all, It's her mom! But I know, and she knows, she won't be 15 minutes, so why bother to say it? With that, you can understand that when she said that, I thought she was just being silly, and thus I replied with "Yeah right" accompanied by a subtle chuckle. She immediately took offense to this, though staying quiet about it. She then went, and sure enough, took 4 hours before arriving at home (with half an hour each way, this being a 3 hour visit). I want to re-iterate that I have no problem with the long visit, I would even go so far as to say I encourage it. But why get offended when I take this as humor when I've every reason to believe it is so. I could have taken it as an outright lie, but that would have been a bit presumptuous on my part. At any rate, This was only a mild annoyance, I still love her to pieces!

On the flip side, Me and my significant other are doing great, Our little one is great, And we have a friend from the USA up visiting us! We are all sharing great laughs, child raising tips, and great memories. Life is great!

Some Time has Passed.

I have spent a great amount of time away from this blog. Why? well, despite popular rumor, I have a life. Nonsense you say? You might be right. Though considering the lack of comments on this blog, I doubt anyone knows, let alone cares that I've not posted in a long while.

Moving forward, I'm planning to rebirth this blog. To continue to rant about the little things I find annoying and amusing in life. And to begin, here's a little one.

Something the other day that caught my ear, and both amused, and annoyed me, was the terrible use of our English language in television commercials. I'm not talking about grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, or simple perfectionist draws like that (I'm not perfect, no one is, and I'm not arrogant enough to expect every mistake I see as grounds to have someone fired or berated). No I'm speaking of the blatant oxymoronic self conflicting statements.

To give examples of what I mean, I saw a commercial the other day where they were advertising a Sci-Fi television show, I like this show, but the commercial contained a line like the following "An uninhabited planet where our hero is being chased by the natives" Granted it's not word for word, but it does convey an uninhabited planet, with inhabitants. This is similar to saying "An empty box containing things".

I'm also amused by how many product commercials call their product "the most popular" or "posatively the best". While I understand these are perceptive terms - which absolves the marketing agency of any requirement to verify this - The term is becoming so overused it has become meaningless. When everything is the best, nothing is.

There is also a growing ratio of television commercials for products that don't even remotely do what the commercial portrays. I'm not talking about poor quality product that doesn't do "as good a job as on TV" or the burger that "isn't as stacked with toppings as on tv", I'm talking about commercials where your car is leaping small buildings, breaking into blobs of molten metal, beating up other cars, then parking itself, all on $0.30 of gas. The Pizza pockets that explode with enough force to propell a buick over your house, or otherwise kill you with one bite, The game peices that talk, the bad breath that follows you in the form of tiny computer graphic food items, and the insurance gekko that never does any actual work (apart from staring at a screen and talking about himself).

Am I really so obsessed with these things that I need to rant about them? heck no, I don't "Need" to do this, I just wanted to, and you wanted to read it, else you wouldn't have come here and made it this far. If you agree, leave a comment, if you disagree, leave a comment, if your a troller and just want to spark some anger, go away.

Have fun!

Interesting Thoughts

It's been a while since I updated this blog, And in the absence of some legitimate content to post, I thought I'd throw up some little tidbits, annoyances, rants, and Ideas I've accumulated.

1. Of all the people out there, you'd think Santa would be able to afford LASIK eye surgery, The guy's been wearing glasses for a very long time.

2. In today's world of Technology, are there really so many people out there who - when asked to point to their computer - still point to the monitor and not the computer itself? (Oh so THAT's what that boxy thingy under my desk was)

3. Why is it that fast food resteraunts don't serve normal food during breakfast menu hours? there are about 5 common allergies I can think of that any one of them blacklists the entire breakfast menu. If you walked into your favorite department store that had a TODAY ONLY sale on several new products, however you wanted to buy batteries, or perhaps some other normal item. Now how would you feel if they said "I'm sorry, but during the sale dates, you can only buy products on sale", Doesn't make sence does it?

4. On the subject of Fast food, Why is it the best foods that any resteraunt releases, are always temporary and don't stay. This is mrely an example but I hold up the Bourbon Chicken at Subway restaurants. This was FANTASTIC! Yet they had it only as temporary. I can understand in the case of seasonal foods, but the McRib from Mcdonalds, the Bourbon chicken, and many other great food items that I would regularly purchase, are only temporary. I find no end of annoyance with this.

5. Why do some people using MSN messanger so badly overuse the Emoticon feature (adding every dumb little one they ever see) to the point where no one can ever read anything they try and say.

6. Life isn't always fair. This is a true statement, but it's far over used to the point of ignoring legitimate issues that are out there. Just because life isn't always fair, doesn't mean that person A has any less of a right to eat, to human rights, to that opportunity, then person B. Albeit true that not everyone can win the lottery, or get the opportunity that your friend got, but still, there are far too many cases where this phrase is used as a cop-out of facing the real issue.

7. So your depressed, why? because you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Tough, I know a guy who lives on the streets, has no money, no girlfriend, is frozen, and lives off the coins tossed to him. Wait a minute, does this make your problem go away? does it make you feel any more loved or cared for to know that someone else is worse off? No, it doesn't does it. Just like saying that there are people half way across the world that are starving, does NOT make you any less hungry now. A lot of people like to unreasonably diminish the importance of a legitimate problem just because a worse one exists and/or has been survived. It's worthy to note that people have also died of far lesser problems. So stop compareing the problems of a friend, to the problems of someone worse off, and take a serious look at your friend's problems. These problems are very real and need be addressed. And if your the type to say "well, life isn't always fair", see rant #6.

8. Humor, Laughter is the best medicine. Yet so few people these days seem willing to laugh, or jest at one another. I can take a passive insult that is meant to be funny, and not meant as a serious attack. I seem - in this respect - to be of a dieing breed. I'm not saying I go around jokingly insulting people, but I notice how easilly offended so many people are and it worries me. The only valid explanation I can find is that our lives are filling with so much stress these days. the problem with that answer is, that humor is one of the best releifs to said stress, if you can't take the time to laugh at some of these things, then guess what, you need to take a good hard look at your life and see if what you are doing is really worth it. If not, take the time to laugh. take some of the things coming at you with humor, laugh at it. you might be surprised how much better you feel.

That's all for now, I don't wish to seem irrevocably negative...after all...I'm trying to be a happy person.

Desolation of a Loveless World.

In this desolate land of pain and sorrow,
a heart is that which may only be borrowed.
for those who win this loveless game,
they steal your heart to enhance their fame.

Those of us who are left behind,
we try to reason but lost in mind.
stumble about hopeing to live,
but help is something no one will give.

Now I am left alone and cold,
Perhaps till wrinkled, sad, and old.
for In this desolate land of pain and sorrow,
I'll hope and dream, for someone, tomorrow.

A Few Changes.

Since my last devastating break up...Where I discovered I was being cheated on, lied to, repeatedly...and so on...(that's another story that I'm not going to get into). I've decided to change a few things about my personality. I'll admit I've been a bit insecure, and a bit of a depressed & damaged "poor me" kind of guy. I've always hated it, but I've never really done much to change it because I've always justified it with "It's not my fault, THEY cheated on me, and that's never right" Which of course is absolutely true. It DOES and is supposed to hurt when you get cheated on, and if you don't care that someone cheats on you, or with you, then your not much of a mann now are you. (That or you don't care because your just as likely to cheat on them...like some people).

But getting to the point, I've come to realise that as much as it's not my fault that I got that way, it IS my fault that I let myself STAY that way. So I'm therefor changing some of my attitude's towards life. Professionaly I will pretty much be the same, since I always do amazing there. I'm going to start beleiving in myself more, because although I'm not the hottest guy out there, I'm not ugly, and I can be very sweet. I'm not going to adopt the perspective of "taking what I can get", I'm going more for a "Taking what I want so long as it's not already taken" attitude. I'm going to try to be more outgoing, I've already been doing this and I'm having more fun. And people seem to be having more fun with me when I'm around. I love this. So I encourage people to meet me, and enjoy the benefits of having me around. Otherwise YOU are missing out.

- The Steven. (A.K.A. DJ D-Nyed)

Cheating Stereotype

I've always been aware of one of the stereotypes out there that television and men-bashers love to play on that men are born cheaters. One thing very few people are aware of is that Woman statistically cheat on men more often, and more women cheat on their men then the vice versa. The reson men get such a bad rap, is to be brutally honest, women are smarter about it. When a guy cheats on his girlfriend, wife, or whomever is special enough that fooling around with someone else can be construed as cheating, He usually is pretty happy about it, his next few days will change, he may brag about it to his friends, he might leave condom wrappers lying around, he may have bought her dinner, movie, things like that. Dumb things that show up on his visa bill, things that a little poking around his place will identify, things that by hanging aroud his social groups you can find out.

However, when a girl cheats on her boyfriend, women have one major advantage, it's the GUY "under the gentleman must pay for everything" stereotype (Don't get me wrong, I love paying for my girlfriend when I can, I just don't think it should HAVE to be that way, we are BOTH human), who pays for the meals, and anything like that. Leaving the girl with less of a paper trail to cover up, the guy and the girl usually (but not always) prefer to go to the guys place for a night of mutually slashing her boyfriend's heart, and when she's done she can use sexual leverage (or other ways) to keep him pretty shut up about it. Then she tells no one, not her best friend, not her boyfriend, not anyone, she doesn't even talk to the person she cheated WITH about it unless she plans to do it again. And as if all this wasn't enough to give them a homefield advantage, When a guy cheats on a girl, everyone quickly sides witht he girl, pampering her, giving her sympathy, bashing him, and all that. When a girl cheats on a guy, the guy doesn't always make it so public, some guys are so ego-centric that they don't hardly tell anyone, and for the rest of the time, a few friends might do some women bashing once or twice at the bar or at work, but honestly, they don't care becuase of a macho-stereotype.

I know there are girls out there who have been savagely cheated on by some really bad guys out there who are players, but the reason that's such a big story, and a popular bash when it happens is because men are so utterly stupid about it, they do all the goundwork, but after they get what they want they pack up and leave, they get dressed and go home, they send the girl home, or they simply ditch the girl and forget about it. After they have gotten off, they want nothing more to do with it. But when a girl is finished, she actually cleans up after herself, she workes to conceal what has happened. She follows up.

Don't misunderstand one thing, This doesn't apply to everyone, some girls cheat and are quite open about it, and some men couldn't be better about cheating. There are a few men out there who can't stand cheating, who couldn't live with themselves to cheat one someone they love, who don't even fantasize about celebrities, who could have 100 naked, hormone raging, beutiful, sexy, women chasing him, wanting him, and who would honestly rather be snuggling with their girlfriend (don't beleive me, try me). And I'm sure that at least 1 women somewhere on this planet Might like to be loyal to only the one their with and has no interest in someone else at any time. I'm not saying everyone cheats. I'm just saying that sometimes the stereotypes can be skewed a little bit.

Remember those childhood dumb games about who's smarter, women or men. I beleive that neither is generally more intelligent, I beleive that "GENERALLY SPEAKING" Men are more sports adept, more technologically capable, mecanically capable, and that women are more socially capable, more psychologically manipulative, and more esthetically knowlagable. Keeping in mind that what I'm saying may sound sexist, but it's no more sexist than "The gentleman should always pay" or "men cheat more then women" Aren't those sexist? Of course they are sexist, they are not only sexist, they are grossly wrong, and If you can say those, then I can put these true and honest points on the table and be no worse.

Now I'm not trying to bash women, but what I AM trying to push forth is that I'm very tired of being the guy who never cheats, never even wants to cheat, and gets accused of being that type of guy, having people assume it's what I'll do, and being labled as a person who will stop at nothing to do the one thing that disgusts me most. I've been cheated on BY the majority of the women I've dated, and I've never cheated on a single one, I've been accused of it a couple of times, and I've had to fight to prove it wrong each time. The girls however, cheat on my, and I have to Fight to prove they did, even to them, when they knew they did, and even when they ended up admitting it to me, most people found it difficult to beleive that that many girls would cheat on me, and I've never cheated. Why is this so hard to beleive? Simply because I'm a guy, and the stereotype is, guys cheat more then women.

I wish people cared more about the people they choose to date. If you want to have a relationship where your free to screw any other thing that walks, then DON'T BE GIRLFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND, Be Friends with benefits, THAT'S what it's for, I'm not saying that friends with benefits is a good and right thing to do, but at least both people know what it is, no one's lieing to each other, it's not commiting to someone, and then cheating, there's no relationship to cheat on. At least it's honest enough not to pretend it's something it's not just to end up savagly hurting someone.

Another reason men cheating is such a big deal, elaborates on a point I made earlier, when women are cheated on, not only do they get all the sympathy, but it's a huge emotional thing. when men are cheated on, a few of them cry (myself included, and I'm not ashamed to admit it), but most of them keep it all in, they may go to a bar, hang out with friend, bury how they feel, and try their best to get over it. There for when men are cheated on, it's usually only a rumou amoung a social group, when a girl is cheated on, there's everything but a story on the channel 4 news about it.

In closing I want to re-iterate that I'm not trying to women-bash, I'm just trying to both vent my frustrations of being the one who's always blamed for the very things that I'm a victum of, and have never perpatrated, and to imform people that they stereotype isn't always true. If stereotypes were always true, then every man would be good at sports, every women would be weak, every black person wuold steal, every indian would gamble, everyone would loose their driving ability as soon as their hair turned gray, and the world would be a different hell then it is today. But none of these stereotypes are true. I'm a man and I'm no good at sports, I know some very athletic women, Skin color means absolutly nothing, same with ethnic background (when I say it means nothing, I mean it doesn't make you a good or bad person, not that it's a good idea to discard your heritage), Some people are compitent drivers well into their late years, and stereotypes abroad are usually quite wrong and used as a way for either television to help structure entertainment (at realities expence) or used as yet another manipulation tool (somestimes used by the very women who cheat, to help their case). There's not much else I can say really. But if this text offends you because you feel that your an honest person who doesn't cheat, never cheated, and could never cheat, then GREAT! Leave me a comment, I'd love to get to know you. And In that extremely scarce and rare circumstance, I apologise to you specifically, but keep in mind that I'm talking about genders in a general sence. And with the exception of those who have cheated on me, and those who I have known to cheat, I'm not talking about anyone specifically.

The underlying problem is that people just don't care enough. And the paradox of it is, the few who do care enough, are hurt, by those who don't, or by each other mistaking them for the many who don't.

- DJ D-Nyed. (Steven Wells)